Subtle Differences
I had the good fortune of listening to one of my favorite educators talk to a group of pre-service teachers about discipline and classroom management. I asked her to give this talk because she deals with some of our most challenging students, yet has very few attendance problems and almost never has a discipline issue.
I don’t even think she realized the power of what she said this morning because she kind of glossed right over it, but she told the soon-to-be teachers that as soon she sees a possible attendance issue emerging with a student, she will pull him or her aside and say (in her best tough-love delivery):
You know if you get to six absences, you and I are going to have a talk.
Consider just for a minute the difference between a statement like that and:
You know if you get to six absences, I’m going to send you to your administrator.
The difference is subtle, but it’s there. If you’re a student, one of those says, “We are going to work this out,” and the other one says, “I’m going to make you someone else’s problem.”
Guess how many of her kids get to six absences.
February 19, 2009 at 14:06
The first could also imply some type of relationships between teacher and student. We’ve been talking relational learning and how it doesn’t matter how well you know your content, students won’t learn unless there is some type of relationship with the teacher. I think this becomes even more important in a district like mine with low SES and high numbers of minorities. I love how this teacher didn’t hand her students off to someone else.
February 19, 2009 at 14:10
“It doesn’t matter what you know until they know you care.”
…or something like that, right?
To me, the first says to the student, “The buck stops right here. In this classroom.”
The second says, “I don’t want to deal with you anymore.”
February 19, 2009 at 17:43
Great post. Improving the culture of a school is really that simple!
February 19, 2009 at 20:26
[...] I am happy to report that I have never had an encounter with a grizzly in the wild and I believe it is due to proper planning. If we want to improve the culture of our schools, start by investing two minutes per day for ten days. Practice talking with your students and remember that what you say is just as important as how you say it. [...]