The Little Things
(Cross-posted at LeaderTalk)
I stand in the same place every day between every class. I see hundreds of kids file past me four times a day and I never thought they even noticed or cared. I say “hi” to kids who make eye contact with me and I smile a lot. I joke with kids who bump into me while they perform the dangerous “walk and text” maneuver. But overall, I doubt many of them even know who I am.
Shortly before the holidays, I was having one of those stressful days where it seemed nothing I needed to do was coming together and I was dealing with an above average number of interruptions. I dutifully headed into the hallways between classes, “did my time,” and came back to my office to continue plugging away. The day passed and — as they always do — things worked themselves out.
The day before we went on winter break, I was in my usual spot between classes smiling and joking with the kids as usual when a student I recognized but didn’t really know walked up to me. She always says, “Hi, Mr. Elias!” on her way past, but I didn’t know her name. She was just another in a sea of faces flowing past me every day on her way from class to class. That day, though, she stopped briefly. She smiled at me and said, “I’m glad to see you’re in a better mood today! The other day you just didn’t seem yourself. Is everything OK?”
I can’t tell you how shocked I was that this student not only noticed that I was there in the same spot every day, but she’d also noticed when I wasn’t my usual, goofy self when she passed by. It really made me start to think about how important it is to be cognizant of the “face” we present to our schools and communities. It’s one thing to be positive and upbeat at a faculty meeting or SAC meeting — times when you know you’re being watched — but it’s another thing completely to consider that you are always “on stage.”
That little experience really forced me to be more aware of how I was portraying myself to others at those less important times. And the funny thing is that when my mind is wandering to something that’s stressing me out, I’ve found that if I try pretending to be cheerful in the halls a strange thing happens: after a while I’m not pretending anymore.
Well said, Scott. I’ve always thought it was ok for our kids to see us being human.
I’m always amazed at how mingling with our kids can get my spirits back up, even if it’s just for a little while. Some time throwing a football to fourth graders at recess can do wonders. When it’s time to go back to work, I’m often in a better spot.
They’re always watching… how we interact with other students, with co-workers. I’m sometimes amazed at what they notice.
Thanks Rick and Jackie –
I throw a terrible spiral, but I did earn some street cred and surprised some of our students by joining their game of Ultimate Frisbee during lunch.
I am going to share this posting with my Ed Leadership class. I can’t think of a more important message. I spend time in the halls during many of our busiest times and what a great education. Kids are interested in you to the extent that you are interested in them.
Thanks for the post.
Ryan
Scott,
Excellent post. Reminds us of the importance of the human connections we make with our colleagues and students.
Mark Stock
The Stock Mark Report
http://drmarkstock.com
This was a great piece, Scott, and I’ll distribute to my colleagues. This is really important stuff.
Still, I have a little precision to make: I would discern between pretending and focusing. If there is something my students look through, is if I’m trying to be something I’m not, aka. pretending.
But those days I feel out of it, taking a minute to sharpen myself more often than not does the trick; it gives me a kick start becoming what you want to become.
But I’m sure that is excactly what you meant.
You should post more often here, Scott!
Ryan and Geir -
Thank you so much for your thoughts on this. One of the things I think our building is working hard on doing is putting a friendly face out to the community. Sounds like a no-brainer, but how many schools have you been in that were bleak and intimidating?
Scott,
Thank you for your comments about the mindless things we principals sometimes do! I’m in a relatively large elementary school and have found myself just saying, “hi sweety”, “hi hon” (I’m from Texas), or “howdy”, and never really stopping to engage the kids. What a powerful position we hold when we can develop those relationships and perhaps impact the lives of our students.
I think that was one of the hardest things from moving from a classroom to a position of leadership was the lack of relationships that we build! I appreciate the encouragement to get back out there and make meaning of my day!
Thanks,
Gator Girl
BTW – I’m a new blogger – can you recommend other blogs for elementary principals? I joined Leader Talk – just looking for other things! Thanks!
Scott,
I’m glad to hear you say this. As a future administrator, I don’t want to lose that goofy hallway interaction. Every day that I’ve been teaching, I have stood at the door of my classroom and shook every student’s hand on the way in…in the beginning of the year, it’s just a way for me to connect a name to a face, but as the year goes on, it’s a way to connect to each student, even for 10 seconds. Now it’s at the point where I have individual handshakes with many of the students and I love it! I’m glad to hear that I don’t have to lose that when I become an administrator!